Journal 6
“Ghosts and Empties” by Lauren Groff
There is so much detail that tells you what the character is thinking. How she thinks, how she views and sees the world. Through her senses how she interacts with what is going on around her. She watches everything and feels everything. She is so observant and detailed when she talks about her walks. She is paying attention to the world around her. Emotionally and physically and connecting both for the reader. It was compacted to her walks through change and life. There was no major dialogue in this text, which I thought was interesting. I don’t think it needs it to keep this story going. It gives it a silent yet loud cry because it is in the main character’s thoughts. This interests me because it makes a forward motion in the story without dialogue. But as a form of internal dialogue. Her voice comes out still in the internal thoughts which gives it this eerie voice that is dry and haunted. I like how internal dialogue shows you and doesn’t actually necessarily tell you how she is feeling. Having the same effect of show don’t tell. She’s not saying to the reader “I go for walks and think” She is showing you through the character describing her walks.
With this week’s reading, I was most intrigued by the element of character development. The main character in the story remains unnamed, which is a choice that I believe expanded the story even more. As readers, our imagination of what this character looks like will be completely different from others, which allows us to name this character ourselves. Personally, at the beginning of the story I was rather confused with what was going on. It seemed like the author was trying to subconsciously describe this character’s life, but in a way, left it up to the readers to make it up ourselves. Throughout the story, we start to see how overwhelming this woman’s life really is. She is described to be walking throughout the neighborhood and starts observing everything around her. Whether it is recounting a good or bad event, she knows she should not be walking outside alone, especially at night but continues to anyways. She is aware of everything around her, and the author describes her walking experience very vividly, with great description and use of the 5 senses. The author even makes it a point to say, “I sometimes imagine” or “…makes me think”. With the author including this, she subtly describes the main character as being very curious, and a constant thinker. This also adds to her character development because she not only is dealing with her own family problems, but is trying to cope with the loss and pain the rest of humanity is dealing with. By the end of the story, the whole thing seems rather overwhelming with everything the character is dealing with and may be relatable for some readers. Even though the main character is just innocently going for a walk, she is still dealing with problems not everyone can see. I also think it was interesting how the author added an experience that happened right before Christmas. She said, “One night before Christmas I came home late… I flipped open his computer and saw what I saw there, a conversation not meant for me, a snip of flesh that was not his…” (Groff, p. 10) From my interpretation, her husband is having an affair with another woman which further adds to her life struggles and mental development. Right after this experience however, she starts seeing the better in society and things seemly start turning around for her in a strange way. Maybe her character will further change after this and she will do something unexpected?
The most prominent element of craft observable to me in “Ghosts and Empties” was the use of paradoxes. These paradoxes contributed to my understanding of the main character’s emotional state, which was sad and confused. Some examples of this element of craft included the woman yelling and the man being quiet in the opening paragraph, and at the end of the story when she mentions being present for her sons even when she is walking away from them, and loving but simultaneously fearing her gentle husband. The author also uses descriptive cynical statements, which in combination with the paradoxes, suggests that the woman is going through a lot mentally. Perhaps her negative thought processes have overwhelmed her capacity to think about aspects of the world, hence the confused paradoxes. Perhaps they are simultaneously overwhelming her capacity to be the gentle mother she wants to be. Examples of these cynical statements include her thoughts about the homeless disappearing and her out of pocket reference to human plastics choking the last sea turtle, which paralleled how the homeless people were choked out of her neighborhood. Furthermore, I noticed how in some ways the last page or two represented a hopeful transformation. The old tree (which is described as looking like a woman and thus appears to symbolize the woman) has new lights, the swans build their nest despite the troubles they have faced, and the moon is laughing. These transformations help to demonstrate how in the author’s mind, the woman has the power to transform herself and let go of her depressed and hopeless feelings.
I think for me, something in “Ghosts and Empties” that stands out to me is how the story is told from the perspective of the main character. Having her pretty much explain every person on her street and in the neighborhood is a writing choice that me as a writer does not think of that often. She explains and describes everyone down to their appearance and even where they are living, and it makes me wonder if she is berating them in a way or upholding them in a way. The tone of the story seems undecided in a way and it adds a sense of dreariness and mystery to the story. I for one do not 100% know the character’s full intentions and I like that. It makes me think a lot deeper than just the surface of the story, and if a story can do that to a reader, the story is good and has more than one layer. Interpreting a story in more than one way is a strength most writers don’t know much about. It is such an underrated skill that more writers should endorse. I also notice how brief she is with all of her descriptions and gives what seem like critiques of everyone, but she is extremely observant in her views. It is also noticeable that every character mentioned has some sort of backstory, and it kind of corresponds to the beginning of the story because every back story seems very tragic and negative. Finally, the way she describes each person makes it seem like it is a memoriam of people that lived on the street, and it kind of connects to the term “Ghosts”, maybe not supernatural, but that is something that I noticed.
In the short story “Ghosts and Empties” By Lauren Groff, I really enjoyed the character in the story. I loved that throughout the story the main character was picking up details about other people’s lives, because that’s something I do. I love taking notice of others. During her walks I loved how she would walk by the houses and talk about what those people were doing. The quotes “ It is astonishing how people live, the messes they sustain, the delicious whiffs of cooking that carry to the street, the holiday decorations that slowly seep into daily decor.” I love that such simple sentences list the quirks of people. Quirks that we all have but are in a way lovely when you take a step back and notice them. The houses and the people in them aren’t the only thing she notices in the story, she notices the homeless lady that collects cans, the 15 year old boy that’s always on the treadmill, and an elegant woman that walks a Great Dane. I enjoyed reading this and reading the little things that the main character was noticing. The way she wrote about walking through the streets showed that life is so precious.
Ghosts and Empties was a wildly interesting story. The elements and characters were wonderfully used and the ending made me reread the story. The narrator’s walks were eventful and it felt like we were walking through a film disc. The narrator walks but the background becomes slightly different with the characters introduced. I also liked the aspect of how time is moving and we circle back to all the character’s we were introduced to in the beginning, at the end. The theme of change was a big one in this story. The people she had run into all experienced some sort of change. There is a line in the story where the narrator remarks, “Hygiene may have changed with time, but human bodies have not”. This intrigued me as we saw the physical changes of a few people and it makes me wonder if the author purposefully contradicted herself.
I have a theory that the narrator is an actual ghost who is watching time go by. It all started at the end when she said, “I slid through the crack under the doors…”. How can a human go through a crack? As I reread the story, I took note of other clues that may lead to her being a ghost. When the narrator is walking behind a jogger couple, she accidentally laugh. The couple whirled their heads around and essentially ran off. What if that was because they could not see anything but they heard an eerie laugh? Another clue is the sickly woman with the Great Dane. What if the woman is so close to death, she can see supernatural things? It is no secret that animals can sense the supernatural. I am curious as to what others thought of this story!
Journal #6: The element of craft that I enjoyed in this story, Ghosts and Empties by Lauren Goff, was the usage of first person narrative. The narrator talked a lot. Not always believably accurate in her details, but nonetheless she trudged on metaphorically and physically throughout the piece. You got a very distinct feeling for this character. She had very strong opinions and beliefs that were fleshed out in such a way that you could really see her flaws. The usage of this narrative made me understand the first paragraph much better than when I was first reading it. She talks so much, but the most impactful thing to me was what she didn’t say. She threw her verbal stones at everyone she saw, yet never mentioned her own life or her own relationships. Why was she walking? What was wrong between her and her husband? Why was she so burnt out on being a parent? It was also interesting because my father grew up in Florida so I have spent a lot of time there. I researched the author and as I thought, she is not from Florida and has not spent a lot of time there, which you can feel while reading. It was also interesting to me the way she describes Florida as “the south”, because many southerners think of Florida, like Texas, as a place of its own; unique in many ways, not part of a collective group. This story really made me think about setting, personal bias, and place. If I, for example, were to write a story about Maine, it could have a similarly fake feeling from its lack of understanding and love for the place that a native Mainer might have. Unlike Tommy’s story which we read in class, which feels so authentic in its setting, this story to me feels like the author is unhappy where they are and therefore cannot fully see the place where they live.
This short story really took a hold of me. I can’t really explain how enraptured I was with it while reading. The woman was describing everything around her as she walked, how it changed with time, how the people change with time. I found myself so invested because I do the same thing. When I go on walks, often with my chubby dog tugging me along, I find myself doing the same thing. Examining how the world changes while I’m gone. How things are changing right in front of me as well. The dogs that bark at me as I walk by, the people who shoot me a smile when we make eye contact, the houses that change with every passing week, yet somehow still stay the same. All of this is the setting of my walks, much like the setting described in the story. Despite this, I found my favorite part of this short story was the characters, rather than the setting. The people in the story are constantly changing, showing different sides to them, existing to the woman without even knowing. The therapist, who doesn’t know she is watching him. Her friend, who is all too vulnerable in front of the open window. The nuns who don’t realize she notices their relief as they leave. All of these moments are parts of these characters that don’t get acknowledged in stories of a faster pace. It’s something I really appreciate. That the story slows us down to think about parts of these people no one seems to consider.
One element of craft that stands out in Ghosts and Empires is her use of atmosphere and setting to evoke emotion and deepen the narrative’s themes. The setting isn’t merely a backdrop for the story, they play an active role in shaping the tone and mood of the story. She immerses the reader into the environment with vivid, sensory descriptions, creating a palpable atmosphere that mirrors the internal states of her characters. Groff uses the physical and temporal setting to mirror the protagonists feelings of melancholy, disconnection, and nostalgia. Her descriptions of the environment are layered with meaning, reflecting the character’s inner world as they navigate through their personal struggles and the weight of the past. “Ghosts” in the title are not just literal or supernatural but also metaphorical, representing the memories and unresolved emotions that haint the character, the author uses the setting to give life to these intangible ghosts.
What makes this use of setting particularly effective is how seamlessly it ties into the themes of memory, loss, and time. Groff doesn’t rely on exposition to convey these themes; instead she lets the atmosphere and setting do much of the storytelling, allowing the reader to feel the emotional weight of the story through the environment the characters inhabit. By blending the external world with the woman’s inner emotional landscape, Goff creates a haunting, immersive experience that lingers after the story ends. This use of atmosphere elevates the narrative, making it not just a tale about individual characters in her neighborhood but also the broader, more universal experience of the greater world, grappling with the past and the passage of time. Through this, Goff demonstrates how setting can be used as a powerful tool to enhance both character development and depth of the themes.
Journal #6
The imagery in this piece is truly breathtaking. I feel like using good imagery is all about toeing the lines of clichés and this is not Cliché. It is too personal and too real. It is honest, direct and simple. Another thing with good imagery: the writing can’t be cluttered. Beauty is simple. The Narrator isn’t even simply bringing us along on these Floridian winter walks, she is bringing us within herself, making us one with her being. Every description is so beautiful, not always because a beautiful thing is being described. For much of this story is ugly and sad. It’s a story about poverty and gentrification. About violence and hopelessness. But it is still a beautiful story because it is told beautifully. I often think we mistake the meaning of beauty. It’s easy to define it as simply something that is easy to look at, and beauty can be easy. But it is not the definition. Beauty can be ugly and dirty. It can make you want to look away or want to give up. This story is like that. It is sad, with nothing more than a few glimmers of hope scattered throughout. It isn’t easy but there is beauty everywhere. In the couple living beneath her house and the sickly lady getting sicker. In the dying nuns and the abandoned homes. In the people disappearing, the changing, the building of something new on the backs of others. It’s all beautiful. It’s all terrible.
I greatly enjoy how the author caters to the senses of this world they built. With every sentence there are metaphors, imaginary scenarios, similes, etcetera. But all of these work together to make the world alive, even on a dark street, stories of the past and present morph into each other to depict this character’s life in Florida. This story in particular, leans into the smells that percolate the neighborhood, each new smell causing the narrator to recall a memory. Groff writes, “I smell jasmine potent in my hair… the way I used to smell cigarette smoke and swear after going to a nightclub” (9). I found this quote as part of the train of thought in the narrator’s mind, reminiscing on family living in the North, and how certain plants are in bloom in the South, getting her to think of a time in her youth. The entire story floats through her mindscape, utilizing the senses that envelop her. The setting being nighttime also aids this flow, making the other characters fade in and out of the darkness as our narrator encounters them. All this thinking and movement allows the narrator to see vignettes of people’s lives, further calming her down as she continues her loops. It reads like a film; very close scenes with developed characters going about their daily routines. Until the narrator realizes the passage of time, since she, too, has been going about her routine nightly walk for so long.
The element of craft that interests me in this story is the way the author develops the narrator’s character. There’s no dialogue and no specific story/moment being laid out. Instead we learn the story of the narrator through a rendition of her daily routine, her political and social beliefs, and attitude towards the people around her. The author is able to develop a complicated character who grows angrier with life and the state of her country/state/town every day. Yet, we never learn the woman’s name (to my recollection), or hear her (or anyone else) speak.
I was astonished by how much background was shoved and utilized into every crevice of this story. It was a little shocking, I feel that when I do that, it overflows and takes away from the present narrative. But her use of juxtaposition, real and gritty descriptors that are plot points, and lack of filler words make this a wonderful read. When writing, you need to have a healthy balance of background, yes, but what this author does is she takes that idea and she builds up her world with it by intertwining background into present moments seamlessly by creating tension and a lingering taste for wanting more. She uses realism, and through that, she uses the 5 senses to keep her audience attached and engaged with the present moments and the ones that are building up to those present moments.
13 thoughts on “JOURNAL # 6”
Journal 6
“Ghosts and Empties” by Lauren Groff
There is so much detail that tells you what the character is thinking. How she thinks, how she views and sees the world. Through her senses how she interacts with what is going on around her. She watches everything and feels everything. She is so observant and detailed when she talks about her walks. She is paying attention to the world around her. Emotionally and physically and connecting both for the reader. It was compacted to her walks through change and life. There was no major dialogue in this text, which I thought was interesting. I don’t think it needs it to keep this story going. It gives it a silent yet loud cry because it is in the main character’s thoughts. This interests me because it makes a forward motion in the story without dialogue. But as a form of internal dialogue. Her voice comes out still in the internal thoughts which gives it this eerie voice that is dry and haunted. I like how internal dialogue shows you and doesn’t actually necessarily tell you how she is feeling. Having the same effect of show don’t tell. She’s not saying to the reader “I go for walks and think” She is showing you through the character describing her walks.
With this week’s reading, I was most intrigued by the element of character development. The main character in the story remains unnamed, which is a choice that I believe expanded the story even more. As readers, our imagination of what this character looks like will be completely different from others, which allows us to name this character ourselves. Personally, at the beginning of the story I was rather confused with what was going on. It seemed like the author was trying to subconsciously describe this character’s life, but in a way, left it up to the readers to make it up ourselves. Throughout the story, we start to see how overwhelming this woman’s life really is. She is described to be walking throughout the neighborhood and starts observing everything around her. Whether it is recounting a good or bad event, she knows she should not be walking outside alone, especially at night but continues to anyways. She is aware of everything around her, and the author describes her walking experience very vividly, with great description and use of the 5 senses. The author even makes it a point to say, “I sometimes imagine” or “…makes me think”. With the author including this, she subtly describes the main character as being very curious, and a constant thinker. This also adds to her character development because she not only is dealing with her own family problems, but is trying to cope with the loss and pain the rest of humanity is dealing with. By the end of the story, the whole thing seems rather overwhelming with everything the character is dealing with and may be relatable for some readers. Even though the main character is just innocently going for a walk, she is still dealing with problems not everyone can see. I also think it was interesting how the author added an experience that happened right before Christmas. She said, “One night before Christmas I came home late… I flipped open his computer and saw what I saw there, a conversation not meant for me, a snip of flesh that was not his…” (Groff, p. 10) From my interpretation, her husband is having an affair with another woman which further adds to her life struggles and mental development. Right after this experience however, she starts seeing the better in society and things seemly start turning around for her in a strange way. Maybe her character will further change after this and she will do something unexpected?
The most prominent element of craft observable to me in “Ghosts and Empties” was the use of paradoxes. These paradoxes contributed to my understanding of the main character’s emotional state, which was sad and confused. Some examples of this element of craft included the woman yelling and the man being quiet in the opening paragraph, and at the end of the story when she mentions being present for her sons even when she is walking away from them, and loving but simultaneously fearing her gentle husband. The author also uses descriptive cynical statements, which in combination with the paradoxes, suggests that the woman is going through a lot mentally. Perhaps her negative thought processes have overwhelmed her capacity to think about aspects of the world, hence the confused paradoxes. Perhaps they are simultaneously overwhelming her capacity to be the gentle mother she wants to be. Examples of these cynical statements include her thoughts about the homeless disappearing and her out of pocket reference to human plastics choking the last sea turtle, which paralleled how the homeless people were choked out of her neighborhood. Furthermore, I noticed how in some ways the last page or two represented a hopeful transformation. The old tree (which is described as looking like a woman and thus appears to symbolize the woman) has new lights, the swans build their nest despite the troubles they have faced, and the moon is laughing. These transformations help to demonstrate how in the author’s mind, the woman has the power to transform herself and let go of her depressed and hopeless feelings.
I think for me, something in “Ghosts and Empties” that stands out to me is how the story is told from the perspective of the main character. Having her pretty much explain every person on her street and in the neighborhood is a writing choice that me as a writer does not think of that often. She explains and describes everyone down to their appearance and even where they are living, and it makes me wonder if she is berating them in a way or upholding them in a way. The tone of the story seems undecided in a way and it adds a sense of dreariness and mystery to the story. I for one do not 100% know the character’s full intentions and I like that. It makes me think a lot deeper than just the surface of the story, and if a story can do that to a reader, the story is good and has more than one layer. Interpreting a story in more than one way is a strength most writers don’t know much about. It is such an underrated skill that more writers should endorse. I also notice how brief she is with all of her descriptions and gives what seem like critiques of everyone, but she is extremely observant in her views. It is also noticeable that every character mentioned has some sort of backstory, and it kind of corresponds to the beginning of the story because every back story seems very tragic and negative. Finally, the way she describes each person makes it seem like it is a memoriam of people that lived on the street, and it kind of connects to the term “Ghosts”, maybe not supernatural, but that is something that I noticed.
In the short story “Ghosts and Empties” By Lauren Groff, I really enjoyed the character in the story. I loved that throughout the story the main character was picking up details about other people’s lives, because that’s something I do. I love taking notice of others. During her walks I loved how she would walk by the houses and talk about what those people were doing. The quotes “ It is astonishing how people live, the messes they sustain, the delicious whiffs of cooking that carry to the street, the holiday decorations that slowly seep into daily decor.” I love that such simple sentences list the quirks of people. Quirks that we all have but are in a way lovely when you take a step back and notice them. The houses and the people in them aren’t the only thing she notices in the story, she notices the homeless lady that collects cans, the 15 year old boy that’s always on the treadmill, and an elegant woman that walks a Great Dane. I enjoyed reading this and reading the little things that the main character was noticing. The way she wrote about walking through the streets showed that life is so precious.
Ghosts and Empties was a wildly interesting story. The elements and characters were wonderfully used and the ending made me reread the story. The narrator’s walks were eventful and it felt like we were walking through a film disc. The narrator walks but the background becomes slightly different with the characters introduced. I also liked the aspect of how time is moving and we circle back to all the character’s we were introduced to in the beginning, at the end. The theme of change was a big one in this story. The people she had run into all experienced some sort of change. There is a line in the story where the narrator remarks, “Hygiene may have changed with time, but human bodies have not”. This intrigued me as we saw the physical changes of a few people and it makes me wonder if the author purposefully contradicted herself.
I have a theory that the narrator is an actual ghost who is watching time go by. It all started at the end when she said, “I slid through the crack under the doors…”. How can a human go through a crack? As I reread the story, I took note of other clues that may lead to her being a ghost. When the narrator is walking behind a jogger couple, she accidentally laugh. The couple whirled their heads around and essentially ran off. What if that was because they could not see anything but they heard an eerie laugh? Another clue is the sickly woman with the Great Dane. What if the woman is so close to death, she can see supernatural things? It is no secret that animals can sense the supernatural. I am curious as to what others thought of this story!
Journal #6: The element of craft that I enjoyed in this story, Ghosts and Empties by Lauren Goff, was the usage of first person narrative. The narrator talked a lot. Not always believably accurate in her details, but nonetheless she trudged on metaphorically and physically throughout the piece. You got a very distinct feeling for this character. She had very strong opinions and beliefs that were fleshed out in such a way that you could really see her flaws. The usage of this narrative made me understand the first paragraph much better than when I was first reading it. She talks so much, but the most impactful thing to me was what she didn’t say. She threw her verbal stones at everyone she saw, yet never mentioned her own life or her own relationships. Why was she walking? What was wrong between her and her husband? Why was she so burnt out on being a parent? It was also interesting because my father grew up in Florida so I have spent a lot of time there. I researched the author and as I thought, she is not from Florida and has not spent a lot of time there, which you can feel while reading. It was also interesting to me the way she describes Florida as “the south”, because many southerners think of Florida, like Texas, as a place of its own; unique in many ways, not part of a collective group. This story really made me think about setting, personal bias, and place. If I, for example, were to write a story about Maine, it could have a similarly fake feeling from its lack of understanding and love for the place that a native Mainer might have. Unlike Tommy’s story which we read in class, which feels so authentic in its setting, this story to me feels like the author is unhappy where they are and therefore cannot fully see the place where they live.
This short story really took a hold of me. I can’t really explain how enraptured I was with it while reading. The woman was describing everything around her as she walked, how it changed with time, how the people change with time. I found myself so invested because I do the same thing. When I go on walks, often with my chubby dog tugging me along, I find myself doing the same thing. Examining how the world changes while I’m gone. How things are changing right in front of me as well. The dogs that bark at me as I walk by, the people who shoot me a smile when we make eye contact, the houses that change with every passing week, yet somehow still stay the same. All of this is the setting of my walks, much like the setting described in the story. Despite this, I found my favorite part of this short story was the characters, rather than the setting. The people in the story are constantly changing, showing different sides to them, existing to the woman without even knowing. The therapist, who doesn’t know she is watching him. Her friend, who is all too vulnerable in front of the open window. The nuns who don’t realize she notices their relief as they leave. All of these moments are parts of these characters that don’t get acknowledged in stories of a faster pace. It’s something I really appreciate. That the story slows us down to think about parts of these people no one seems to consider.
One element of craft that stands out in Ghosts and Empires is her use of atmosphere and setting to evoke emotion and deepen the narrative’s themes. The setting isn’t merely a backdrop for the story, they play an active role in shaping the tone and mood of the story. She immerses the reader into the environment with vivid, sensory descriptions, creating a palpable atmosphere that mirrors the internal states of her characters. Groff uses the physical and temporal setting to mirror the protagonists feelings of melancholy, disconnection, and nostalgia. Her descriptions of the environment are layered with meaning, reflecting the character’s inner world as they navigate through their personal struggles and the weight of the past. “Ghosts” in the title are not just literal or supernatural but also metaphorical, representing the memories and unresolved emotions that haint the character, the author uses the setting to give life to these intangible ghosts.
What makes this use of setting particularly effective is how seamlessly it ties into the themes of memory, loss, and time. Groff doesn’t rely on exposition to convey these themes; instead she lets the atmosphere and setting do much of the storytelling, allowing the reader to feel the emotional weight of the story through the environment the characters inhabit. By blending the external world with the woman’s inner emotional landscape, Goff creates a haunting, immersive experience that lingers after the story ends. This use of atmosphere elevates the narrative, making it not just a tale about individual characters in her neighborhood but also the broader, more universal experience of the greater world, grappling with the past and the passage of time. Through this, Goff demonstrates how setting can be used as a powerful tool to enhance both character development and depth of the themes.
Journal #6
The imagery in this piece is truly breathtaking. I feel like using good imagery is all about toeing the lines of clichés and this is not Cliché. It is too personal and too real. It is honest, direct and simple. Another thing with good imagery: the writing can’t be cluttered. Beauty is simple. The Narrator isn’t even simply bringing us along on these Floridian winter walks, she is bringing us within herself, making us one with her being. Every description is so beautiful, not always because a beautiful thing is being described. For much of this story is ugly and sad. It’s a story about poverty and gentrification. About violence and hopelessness. But it is still a beautiful story because it is told beautifully. I often think we mistake the meaning of beauty. It’s easy to define it as simply something that is easy to look at, and beauty can be easy. But it is not the definition. Beauty can be ugly and dirty. It can make you want to look away or want to give up. This story is like that. It is sad, with nothing more than a few glimmers of hope scattered throughout. It isn’t easy but there is beauty everywhere. In the couple living beneath her house and the sickly lady getting sicker. In the dying nuns and the abandoned homes. In the people disappearing, the changing, the building of something new on the backs of others. It’s all beautiful. It’s all terrible.
I greatly enjoy how the author caters to the senses of this world they built. With every sentence there are metaphors, imaginary scenarios, similes, etcetera. But all of these work together to make the world alive, even on a dark street, stories of the past and present morph into each other to depict this character’s life in Florida. This story in particular, leans into the smells that percolate the neighborhood, each new smell causing the narrator to recall a memory. Groff writes, “I smell jasmine potent in my hair… the way I used to smell cigarette smoke and swear after going to a nightclub” (9). I found this quote as part of the train of thought in the narrator’s mind, reminiscing on family living in the North, and how certain plants are in bloom in the South, getting her to think of a time in her youth. The entire story floats through her mindscape, utilizing the senses that envelop her. The setting being nighttime also aids this flow, making the other characters fade in and out of the darkness as our narrator encounters them. All this thinking and movement allows the narrator to see vignettes of people’s lives, further calming her down as she continues her loops. It reads like a film; very close scenes with developed characters going about their daily routines. Until the narrator realizes the passage of time, since she, too, has been going about her routine nightly walk for so long.
The element of craft that interests me in this story is the way the author develops the narrator’s character. There’s no dialogue and no specific story/moment being laid out. Instead we learn the story of the narrator through a rendition of her daily routine, her political and social beliefs, and attitude towards the people around her. The author is able to develop a complicated character who grows angrier with life and the state of her country/state/town every day. Yet, we never learn the woman’s name (to my recollection), or hear her (or anyone else) speak.
I was astonished by how much background was shoved and utilized into every crevice of this story. It was a little shocking, I feel that when I do that, it overflows and takes away from the present narrative. But her use of juxtaposition, real and gritty descriptors that are plot points, and lack of filler words make this a wonderful read. When writing, you need to have a healthy balance of background, yes, but what this author does is she takes that idea and she builds up her world with it by intertwining background into present moments seamlessly by creating tension and a lingering taste for wanting more. She uses realism, and through that, she uses the 5 senses to keep her audience attached and engaged with the present moments and the ones that are building up to those present moments.